I'm really not that great at blogging. According to all website SEO boosters, I'm suppose to blog on a regular basis! Oops..... Ha, what can I say? I'm human?
So guess what is going on in my life? Yeah, I know, that sounds pretty egotistical. But I really think that you all want to know....... So, I have kept you in suspense long enough.
Recently I have been accepted into a performing arts school in Alberta and now I am literally packing up and getting ready to go. I know what you're thinking.
'Why on earth are you going to a PERFORMING art school?'
Well in all honesty I don't really know. See, like you, I thought that if I go to school it would be with the express purpose of networking for my visual art. So when God told me to go to Rosebud School of the Arts, I was more than a little confused! Now I've always told God that I wanted him to take control of my art and life, even went so far as to tell him that I knew he would use my art in a way I never imagined! Honestly, PERFORMING ART was way out of my imagination. Yet here I was being called to learn all about it.
You want to know something? I have had so many people that know my well, come up to me and tell me how it makes so much sense that I would major in the performing arts. Like really? But for some reason, they all think that I'm dramatic and somehow drama would suit me well. I guess there you have it. According to everyone but myself this makes perfect sense.
Now your big question that you've been wanting to ask....... How do I know that God called me there? Hmm..... Good question. Well for starters, I did NOT hear an audible voice, but I had many pointers. See some like to say, 'There is no such thing as coincidence' and well, actually I don't agree with that saying, in this case perhaps it is true. I was looking for schools to go to when my dad tells me that he knows the perfect school for me. I looked up Rosebud and immediately dismissed it as it wasn't a visual art school. However, it wouldn't be so easily dismissed as my grandmother brought it up a week later and after her, so did another friend. By this time I was very frustrated as I was accepted into a visual art program at another school. But I couldn't shake the feeling that there was this sense of peace whenever Rosebud came into my head. At the end of May, My dad tells me that he thinks that I should really look into Rosebud as he felt that I was suppose to be there and I was suppose to go this fall. Now, ya'll probably know that at the end of May, schools are sending out acceptance letters as applications closes at the end of March. Well that is exactly what I told my dad. However, he wouldn't be put off so easily and convinced me to at the very least call them and ask about details.
Now I don't like to make this public knowledge, but I guess you may as well know. I don't have a diploma and as I was homeschooled rather independently, I don't have any transcripts as proof of the schooling I've done. So with the phone in hand I told God that if he wanted me to go to Rosebud he would have to hurdle me past some pretty major obstacles. So I call the school and ask about an application for this fall. "Oh yes we still have available spots for this coming fall." Well my eyes didn't exactly pop out of my head, but I shall say nearly. Then I squinted and as if dropping a major bomb that would end this Rosebud thought once and for all, I told her about my dilemma concerning my schooling.
"Oh, we have accepted so many homeschoolers! All you need to do is write out a portfolio of the work you've done and send us a few samples of your work."
That was when my eyes lost their sockets! Seriously though! However, I still had some major obstacles left. For one, I needed to get accepted and two, I needed the money. So I did everything required of me. I went down to the school for a scout week and even had to do a talent assessment. Came back and......What do you know, I actually really liked the place, I still don't get why God would have me go to a performing art school, yet at the same time, I now really wanted to go. I was actually mad at God. I even told him so. Like really? He takes me down to this school and now how in the world am I suppose to go. I have no money and based off of my knowledge of that portfolio, any school wouldn't take a second glance before writing me off. So now I was the one begging to go and was no longer looking for more obstacles to throw into God's way, however, the only possible way to go was if God literally made it possible.
Ka-Boom! I got accepted to my utter turmoil. Nothing is worse than wanting something so bad and having it only in arms reach. I knew that I had to completely let go of something that I really wanted and give complete control to God. It was very difficult but I did manage to come to a place of complete trust. God is sovereign and he directs our steps. At the same time God is constantly looking for someone he can show is arm strong to. At the moment it is me :) I'm pretty spoiled, because like any good father, he literally made a way for me to go! The tightrope of my fragile faith still holding steady, as within a matter of days, the money problem was solved! I'm now in my room with boxes everywhere, packing up all my art supplies and clothes. Yes, count on it friends, I paint and no matter what I study, you shall still see more paintings.
So be it as it may, That is how I know God wanted me to go. I keep on expecting to find a closed door, yet so far they've all opened for me. I can't help but feel like a little girl trying to drive, yet not being able to see past the steering wheel and needing to rely on some one who's much taller and able than I. So this my friends is the story of my faith.
I would love to hear your stories! Please feel free to email me or comment below. I'm always up for questions or even just a good convo :)